GOld Time Radio
Donate
  • GOLD TIME RADIO
  • NEW YEARS EVE (Audio)
  • JANUARY IN THE GOLDEN AGE
  • THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD (Audio)
  • DECEMBER IN THE GOLDEN AGE
  • BOSTON BLACKIE (Audio)
  • THE MAN BEHIND THE GUN - (Audio)
  • THE CAVALCADE OF AMERICA (Audio)
  • THE GREEN HORNET - (Audio)
  • THE ALL TME TOP 100
  • ABOUT A SONG Audio & Video
  • ACTS OF CHARITY (Audio)
  • ALCHEMISTS OF THE AIR
  • THE ALDRICH FAMILY (Audio)
  • THE AMERICAN RADIO WARBLERS (Audio)
  • AMOS & ANDY: TWICE IS NICER
  • THE ARAGON'S LAST STAND (Audio)
  • ARTHUR GODFREY (Audio)
  • BABY SNOOKS (Audio)
  • BELIEVE IT OR NOT (Audio)
  • BENNY'S DOUBLE PLAYS
  • BERGEN, McCARTHY AND ADAM & EVE - (Audio)
  • BIG BAND REMOTES (Audio)
  • BIG BIG TOWN (Audio)
  • BILL STERN (Audio)
  • BLOONN...DEE! (Audio)
  • BLUE'S BLUE PLATE SPECIAL
  • BOB BURNS - (Audio)
  • BOGART & BACALL'S BOLD VENTURE (Audio)
  • BUSTED IN RANK
  • "BY TRANSCRIPTION..." (Audio)
  • CAN YOU TOP THIS? (Audio)
  • CBS PACKAGES UNWRAPPED (Audio)
  • CBS RATES: GO FIGURE!
  • COMMAND PERFORMANCE (Audio)
  • CROONERS & CHIRPS
  • THE CURSE OF DASHIELL HAMMETT (Audio)
  • D-DAY ON RADIO (Audio)
  • DICK POWELL (Audio)
  • DR. CHRISTIAN (Audio)
  • DR DuMONT'S PREDICTIONS
  • DR. I.Q. (Audio)
  • DUFFY AIN'T HERE (Audio)
  • DUNNINGER (Audio)
  • EASY ACES (Audio)
  • ELGIN'S THANKSGIVING SHOWS (Audio)
  • FATHER COUGHLIN (Audio)
  • FBI vs. FBI (Audio)
  • THE FEUD - ROUND 1 (Audio)
  • THE FEUD - R0UND 2 (Audio)
  • FIBBER McGEE MINUS MOLLY (Audio)
  • A FIFTEEN MINUTE QUIZ
  • A FIFTEEN MINUTE QUIZ, JR.
  • FIRST SEASON PHENOMS
  • FRANK MORGAN (Audio)
  • FRANK MUNN'S GOLDEN VOICE (Audio)
  • FRED ZIV - KING OF SYNDICATION (Audio)
  • FRIDAY'S ALL TIME TOP TEN
  • THE GOLD IN THE GOLDEN AGE
  • GOOD NEWS (Audio)
  • GOODNIGHT, MR. DURANTE... (Audio)
  • THE GREAT GILDERSLEEVE(S) (Audip)
  • GREAT GREETINGS
  • GREAT GREETINGS AGAIN
  • GUNSMOKE (Audio0
  • GUS HAENSCHEN (Audio)
  • GUY LOMBARDO (Audio)
  • HADACOL
  • HOLLYWOOD CALLING (Audio)
  • HOOPER: NO EASY TARGET
  • HOPE FROM HOME (Audio)
  • THE HOUR OF CHARM (Audio)
  • HUMMERT'S MUSICAL MYSTERY
  • H.V. KALTENBORN (Audio)
  • I LOVE A MYSTERY (Audio)
  • I LOVE A SEQUEL (Audio)
  • IN THE MILLER MOOD (Audio)
  • INFORMATION PLEASE (Audio)
  • INNER SANCTUM (Audio)
  • IT PAYS TO BE IGNORANT (Audio)
  • JACK WEBB'S DRAGNET (Audio)
  • A JOHN GUEDEL PRODUCTION...
  • JOHN NESBITT'S PASSING PARADE (Audio)
  • JUBILEE (Audio)
  • JUDY CANOVA (Audio)
  • KARL SWENSON (Audio)
  • KATE'S GREAT SONG (Audio)
  • KAY KYSER (Audio & Video)
  • THE KING OF SWING (Audio)
  • THE LATE SHIFT
  • LET'S PRETEND (Audio)
  • LIFE WITH LUIGI (Audio)
  • LIGHTS OUT! (Audio)
  • THE LONE RANGER (Audio)
  • LUCKY GETS BENNY (Audio)
  • THE LUCKY STRIKE SWEEPSTAKES (Audio)
  • LUX...PRESENTS HOLLYWOOD! (Audio)
  • THE MAGIC KEY (Audio)
  • MAJOR BOWES' ORIGINAL MONEY MACHINE
  • THE MARCH OF CHANGE (Audio)
  • THE MARCH OF TIME (Audio)
  • MARRIED SLEUTHS (Audio)
  • MBS = MUTUAL'S BARGAIN SALES
  • MEL BLANC (Audio)
  • MEMORIAL DAYS
  • MEREDITH WILLSON (Audio)
  • MR ALLEN MEETS MR BENNY (Audio & Video)
  • MR DISTRICT ATTORNEY (Audio)
  • MR. PRESIDENT (Audio)
  • MONDAY'S ALL TIME TOP TEN
  • MONEY WELL SPENT
  • THE MONTHLIES
  • MONTY WOOLLEY (Audio)
  • MULTIPLE RUNS ALL TIME TOP TEN
  • MUTUAL LED THE WAY
  • MY FRIEND IRMA (Audio)
  • NBC's CHINESE MENU
  • NETS TO ORDER
  • NETWORK JUMPERS
  • THE NETWORK RACE
  • A NETWORK RADIO QUIZ
  • NICK CARTER (Audio)
  • ON A NOTE OF TRIUMPH - (Audio)
  • THE ONE, THE ONLY...GROUCHO! (Audio)
  • THE ORIGINAL ABC NETWORK
  • OUR MISS ARDEN (Audio)
  • OZZIE & HARRIET (Audio)
  • PEOPLE ARE FUNNY (Audio)
  • PETRILLO!
  • THE PRESS RADIO BUREAU (Audio)
  • "PROFESSOR" JERRY COLONNA (Audio)
  • THE QUIZ KIDS (Audio)
  • RADIO GOES TO THE MOVIES
  • THE RADIO HALL OF FAME (Audio)
  • RADIO NETS' GROSSES
  • RADIO'S RULERS: CROSSLEY, HOOPER & NIELSEN
  • THE RAILROAD HOUR (Audio)
  • RANKINGS OVER RATINGS
  • R.I.P., PBS
  • SATURDAY'S ALL TIME TOP TEN
  • SEPTEMBER IN THE GOLDEN AGE
  • SERIALS, CEREALS & PREMIUMS (Audio)
  • THE SHADOW NOS. (Audio)
  • SHERLOCK HOLMES (Audio)
  • SHORTY BELL (Audio)
  • SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EARS
  • SOFT SOAP & HARD SELL (Audio)
  • SPIKE JONES (Audio)
  • SPONSOR SWEEPSTAKES
  • SPOTLIGHT BANDS (Audio)
  • STARTING POINTS QUIZ
  • STOP THE MUSIC! (Audio)
  • SUNDAY AT SEVEN (Audio)
  • SUNDAY'S ALL TIME T0P TEN
  • SUS...PENSE! (Audio)
  • TALLULAH'S BIG SHOW (Audio)
  • THREE ERAS OF THE GOLDEN AGE
  • THREE LETTER CALLS
  • THURSDAY'S ALL TIME TOP TEN
  • TOP 40 RADIO'S ROOTS (Audio)
  • TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES (Audio)
  • TUESDAY'S ALL TIME TOP TEN
  • TWENTY QUESTIONS (Audio)
  • THE TWO STOOGES (Audio)
  • UNFILTERED CIGARETTE CLAIMS
  • V-E DAY (Very Early)
  • VIC & SADE (Audio)
  • V-J DAY (Audio)
  • WALTER WINCHELL (Audio)
  • THE WALTZ KING (Audio)
  • WAR OF THE WORLDS (Audio)
  • WAS AMERICAN IDLE?
  • W.C. FIELDS (Audio)
  • WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS (Audio)
  • WEDNESDAY'S ALL TIME TOP TEN
  • THE WHISTLER (Audio)
  • WORDS AT WAR (Audio)
  • YOU ARE THERE (Audio)
  • YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE (Audio)
  • THE 1932-33 SEASON
  • THE 1933-34 SEASON
  • THE 1934-35 SEASON
  • THE 1935-36 SEASON
  • THE 1936-37 SEASON
  • THE 1937-38 SEASON
  • THE 1938-39 SEASON
  • THE 1939-40 SEASON
  • THE 1940-41 SEASON
  • THE 1941-42 SEASON
  • THE 1942-43 SEASON
  • THE 1943-44 SEASON
  • THE 1944-45 SEASON
  • THE 1945-46 SEASON
  • THE 1946-47 SEASON
  • THE 1947-48 SEASON
  • THE 1948-49 SEASON
  • THE 1949-50 SEASON
  • THE 1950-51 SEASON
  • THE 1951-52 SEASON
  • THE 1952-53 SEASON
Picture
RONALD & BENITA COLMAN ALONG WITH "HOLDUP MAN" EDDIE MARR GAVE JACK BENNY SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.
"YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE!"

Jack Benny met with his writers after his program every Sunday to begin planning the next week’s script.  Their meeting on March 21, 1948, was especially lively because just the night before Ronald Colman had won the Academy Award as Best Actor for 1947’s A Double Life.-  and Colman would be the guest on Benny’s next show. 

A timely setup had fallen into the writers’ laps.


Benny’s four writers worked in two teams - Sam Perrin and George Balzer on one team and Milt Josefsberg and John Tackaberry on the other.  Rotating every two weeks, one team worked on the first half of the show involving Benny’s regular cast - Mary Livingston, Eddie “Rochester” Anderson, Phil Harris, Don Wilson and Dennis Day - while the other team developed the second half of the program which was often a sketch featuring a guest star.  It was Josefsberg & Tackaberry’s turn to write the March 28th skit with Ronald & Benita Colman.

It didn’t take long for them to come up with an Oscar-inspired storyline that could stretch out until the Colmans’ next scheduled guest shot with Benny in May.  It began with the comedian visiting his “next door neighbors” and borrowing the actor’s Academy Award statuette, then losing it in the dark of night to a holdup man who demanded, “Your money or your life!”

That 18th Century highwayman’s command had become a hackneyed line of second-rate melodrama and was a hilarious ultimatum for the notoriously cheap Benny.  The only problem was coming up with Jack’s response to top it. 

Five days passed and none of the proposed comeback lines made Benny or his writers laugh.  

As reported in Arthur Wertheim‘s text Radio Comedy, the group gathered in their workroom at Benny’s home on Friday the 26th to settle the issue and finish the script.  Perrin and Balzer sat a table reading a list of discarded punch lines, Josefsberg paced the floor and Tackaberry stretched out on a couch with his eyes shut, saying nothing.  

Josefsberg looked down in frustration at his partner and angrily said,  “Dammit, Tack, throw out a couple lines!  Don’t just lie there on your fat butt daydreaming.  There’s gotta be a great answer to “Your money or your life!”  

With his eyes still closed, Tackaberry calmly replied, “I’m… thinking it over…”  

The room went silent for a moment as his words sank in, then it erupted in laughter.  The perfect punch line was born.

The gag’s debut on the very entertaining March 28th broadcast is posted below.  Ronald & Benita Colman make their first appearance at 10:15 for a delightful four minute conversation.  Benny joins them at 19:45 to begin the set-up. 

The legendary gag itself starts at 26:00 with veteran character actor Eddie Marr playing the part of the thief who steals  Colman’s Oscar and sets off Benny’s seven week problem of recovering the stolen statuette.   

The holdup routine was repeated the next week at 02:00 into the April 4th program, posted below.  (Sharp-eared listeners will note that in the original performance Jack was interrupted by Marr while humming I’m An Old Cowhand - a week later the song was Love In Bloom.)  This particular broadcast is interesting for even more reasons:  

First, for one show only, the Sportsmen Quartet is replaced by the Ink Spots who turn their signature hit, If I Didn’t Care, into a Lucky Strike commercial.  Secondly, Benny’s tells two different versions of the holdup story and in each case the cowardly comedian becomes a heroic victim.  Finally, Bing Crosby is the program’s guest resulting in script stumbles and ad-libs that make a shambles of the program’s timings and cause several awkward and obvious tape edits.   

The running gag was put into hibernation with only an occasional mention until Ronald & Benita Colman paid their final visit of the season to the Benny program on May 9, 1948.  A clever twist to the entire missing Oscar saga begins at 16:50. ​(1)   

Eddie Marr returns at 19:30 in the dual role of the Colmans’ chauffeur and the “holdup man” to retell the story of the incident 19:55.  

Not to be outdone, Benny returns to the Colman house to tell yet another version of his story at 24:40.  His reaction to finding the tough guy there who originally demanded, “Your money or your life!” is quickly resolved with a sound effect.

And so ended the quintessential Jack Benny joke regarded by many as the greatest gag of Network Radio’s Golden Age.  Few radio buffs remember how Ronald Colman or his Academy Award were involved but no one has forgotten, "Your money or your life!"


(1)  It’s never been explained if the unique resolution that Benny’s writers devised for the missing Oscar was planned from the very beginning in March or if it came to them along the way.  Either way, it was logical, clever and a tribute to their talents.


                            Copyright © 2015 Jim Ramsburg, Estero FL   Email: tojimramsburg@gmail.com
jack_benny_03_28_48.mp3
File Size: 24465 kb
File Type: mp3
Download File

jack_benny_04_04_48.mp3
File Size: 5384 kb
File Type: mp3
Download File

jack_benny_05_09_48.mp3
File Size: 24070 kb
File Type: mp3
Download File